A really negative review of Electric Needle Room gets reviewed by me

First off, here's the review...

Electric Needle Room - Safe, Effective and Fun
By: Alex Young

Anything to do with rock and roll should never be described as safe. The quirky and quiet rock of Electric Needle Room is written by the brothers Matt and Steven Beat who could use a serious lesson on how to tune their guitars before trying to write more songs. The tune “If You’re Happy, I’m Happy” sounds like a teenager learning to sing while waiting for their balls to drop, complete with their voice cracking like a used record. The tune “Love is Not About Teeth” has sappy lyrics that sound like something out of a teen’s diary while the lead vocalist ‘attempts’ to belt out lyrics such as “Love is not about teeth/it’s about lips”. You can tell that the Beat brothers are struggling to be themselves, but should seriously step up their game considering Safe, Effective and Fun is their fourth album. After comparing themselves to The Faint and Crystal Castles for having programmed drums, the Beach Boys for vocal harmonies (see the comment about the song ‘If You’re Happy, I’m Happy’) it’s hard not to see this endeavor as falling short. It’s also difficult to sit through the album knowing that the musicians have a lot of heart and are putting forth the effort, but it doesn’t yield any effective results. A listener can map out everywhere the song is about to go within the first thirty seconds. Electric Needle Room deserves an ‘A’ for effort, but unfortunately gets an ‘F” for delivery. Not to sound too harsh, but the Beat Bros. should consider change the name of the album from Safe, Effective and Fun to Lame, Weak and Boring. I hope the boys have a lot more to offer live than they have on this album. No joke.

www.myspace.com/electricneedleroom

Now, I am used to negative reviews. I appreciate people's honesty. I'd rather have someone give us direct, honest, criticism than kiss our butts and tell us we're the greatest pop band this side of the Mississippi. However, this review is the harshest review we have ever received. It is downright mean at times. If you are dealing with an obscure band like mine, why even bother reviewing an album if you have nothing good to say about it?

I am grateful that Alex reviewed the album, but I am dissapointed that he didn't really listen to it much. If you are one of those reading this that actually has listened to the album more than once (and all the way through), you can clearly tell Alex superficially listened to the album, and perhaps was in a bad mood while he did so. He briefly mentioned two songs, but seemingly took the lyrics in "Love is Not About Teeth" seriously. How can lyrics that were meant to be funny be sappy? Also, how the heck does Alex know that we are "trying to be ourselves?" How does he know we put a lot of effort into this thing? I honestly think Alex thought up the "Lame, Weak, and Boring" punch line as soon as he read the title, before even listening to the record. He made up his mind very early that he didn't like the record, and I have a feeling he skipped over many songs to hurry up and write a review. The review also appears to be written in a rush- it's poorly organized, hard to read, and even has typos.

The one thing I agree with Alex about is the fact that our guitars were not tuned perfectly. I almost prefer slightly out of tune instruments that give each song a slightly different sound and gives each a more unique character.

Look, I've been on the other end. I used to review records for different websites and the KU magazine, and at times I gave negative reviews. But I at least showed some sense of integrity in my writing style. I gave specific criticism, not generic name-calling in describing the music. Most importantly, I listened to the whole record, at least twice but often three or four times.

Alex, if you're going to do something, do it right, or don't do it all.

Finally, you're probably assuming I'm writing this just to vent and express my frusturations with getting a bad review. That is partially true. But it's also to stress that I get all sorts of criticism about our music, and I have learned to handle it in very positive ways. Bad reviews like this only motivate me to work harder with my music, and my music has made leaps and bounds since even 2-3 years ago.

Ultimately, you create anything for your own self satisfaction. For me, part of that satisfaction is in getting my music out there for many to hear. I always expect many people to not like my music, but as long as they give it a real chance I don't get upset when they don't like it. I do get upset when people dismiss it quickly without giving it a real chance. How many of you reading this have listened to the same ENR song more than once?

School's out for the summer

I made it. It was the semester of doom but I made it out alive. It feels good to have a little free time. I recorded last night for the first time in months. I have also been booking ENR for a few shows over the summer. It will be nice to get back to music-making.

I also have a goal this summer of writing a screenplay for a movie I have been wanting to produce for a long time. It will be based on all of my experiences as a valet manager at a hospital. Maybe I'll have it done by the end of the year.

Meanwhile, Crane Coffee is actually paying me to help them book shows over the summer. What a sweet gig that is.

It looks to be a fun summer, and I hope time will slow down a little bit now.